In the crazy world of "Unreality TV" nothing can possibly be quite as wacky as the special Ivana Young Man. It plays like a desperate satire on all those terrible shows like The Bachelor except everything here gets turned upside down. First, the host is Ivana Trump. Women are usually offered as bait on these things with very little to say. Ivana is offered up as a sage marital counsellor who intervenes in the love affairs of forty-something wealthy divorcée Kathy Dahl.

Where Kathy comes from is never really explained. Why she would want to flaunt her loneliness in front of the cameras is passed by, although she's so wealthy she possibly could buy the TV production company making this special.Where Ivana finds the six twentysomething "studs" (the press report's description, not mine) is even more problematical. They all look like vacuous New York models, and they positively salivate at the mere mention of Kathy's riches. The program notes talk about a "new twist to the May-December romance theme" - but when did 40 become December?

"She's a hot lil' mama" is one stud's reaction to Kathy. Another frets that national TV viewers now know he still lives with his parents.

One stunt has Ivana doling out $2,500 (U.S.) and seeing what the three remaining candidates will do with the money in the way of a gift for Kathy. One guy gets her roses and a $250 shirt for himself, which shows his "gigolo" light is already flashing. Ivana's instructions are more basic. "Get some balls!" she orders one man. And far from making up her own mind (assuming she has one), Kathy defers to Ivana. Is that because Ivana is footing the bills, or what? It is Ivana who keeps lining up the studs to mutter, "You are not desired!" Excuse me, but desired by whom? Kathy hasn't said a thing and is as surprised as the rest of us by Ivana's choices. "This is silly!" snaps the usually composed Kathy after Ivana eliminates the clear favourite. Silly? How about sordid? And at the dragged out ending my thoughts can be summed up in this heartfelt plea: "Ivana get outta my life."

Tuesday at 9 p.m. on W Network.